For the most part of my life, I don't think I've ever been to the extremes. I've had my ups and downs, but I knew someone was always more unfortunate than me, or better than me. But I don't think I accept life the way it's thrown at me. I like myself the way I am - driven. Making sure I go out there every day, busting my ass out just to make sure everything goes the way I've always planned.
Sometimes, people make decisions based on their oddest instincts and most intimate feelings. I believe this to be true. I guess I'm in a place where I just want to look past the imperfections and the flaws because I do not want to look for answers, faults or mistakes. Instead, I want to accept the faults and mistakes and overlook the excuses. I want to see the good in the people that I love, the people that I care for.
There is no gray area. I was single and I loved every bit of it. Every date, every night out, every first kiss was truly something to remember. The guys I've gone out with, the guys who made an impact in my life will never be forgotten. But there is only black and white. I can choose to be happy or sad. I could always just say there's someone better out there for me, or somebody out there deserves me more. But I could also just choose the one whom I know loves me more than I love him.
This isn't paranoia. It's just enough of a gut feeling to be grateful for what I've got.