14 November 2010

I miss you quite terribly

I'm so proud of myself. I haven't talked to you in days. I admit, I've been thinking about you a lot, but not as much as I used to. I guess it's safe to say that I thought wrongly about you. Don't get me wrong, you did make me happy, in more ways than one. I used to think that after everything I've been through, you were the good in all the bad. I wasn't entirely wrong though. This is the part that I hate - when I have passed all the four stages and I'm left with the hardest one. I've thought a lot about this and I finally admitted to myself that I loved you. I can't say I really fell in love with you, but I believe that at some point, that was what I felt. I can't say it was all your fault too, I was vulnerable but you didn't take advantage of it. Instead, you made me feel like I needed you, like I wanted to be with you.

This entry's filled with all the emotions that's left in me. All the parts of me that still have your name and face written all over them. I've written about you so openly today because this is the day that I want to let go all of you. Two months worth of ups and downs are flushed down the drain, and I'm not looking back anymore. I keep moving forward.

Even though I miss you quite terribly, I wish there was some way to let you know that I'm actually more than okay. I miss you. Or at least, I used to.

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