19 January 2011

Flavors of Entanglement

All my life, I've been trying to put my finger on what I really want to do but things just never really work out for me. I tried swimming, but I stopped. I had voice lessons and I even had a practicum, but that was it. I wanted to dance but my parents were too strict to allow me to practice outside school hours. There's just so much that I wanted to do with my life but I guess I just never really got the chance to do it.

I've got a lot of time on my hands. I know I said I would find work, but I guess that's not necessary. January's almost over and I've kept myself busy doing absolutely nothing but the things I love doing -- sleeping, eating, reading books, listening to music, watching movies and writing. Hell, I've been writing nonstop. It's like every minute, there's a particular thing I want to write about -- may it be personal issues or superficial things like fixing my room or movie and / or product reviews. I mean, there's just so much to say! It's wonderful really, having all these thoughts inside my head and just being able to jot it down on my laptop, knowing just the right words in my vocabulary to explain what I really want to say. It's like talking to my best friend, only - I'm talking to myself.

Two things I know I'll never get tired of doing are reading and writing. These two have been my first love. Even as a child, I would never stop at just one bedtime story. There would be a mountain of fairy tale books waiting to be read and I wouldn't sleep if not everything was read. There was also a time in my life when I would call my papa in the office just to hear the story of Rumplestiltskin and he'd recite it flawlessly out of memory. I am just fascinated at how stories are written and told, you know? There's a manner of writing that captures me, like the author is speaking to me directly and I can't stop flipping the pages of the book and the next thing I know, I'm done. I've read more books than your average nineteen year old and I have a long list of books that I can't wait to read. It's like it embraces me and it takes me to a place I never knew existed, without me leaving my room. It's amazing, really. I'm very particular about the books that I read though, I just don't read everything that's just thrown at me and I definitely won't read a book just because fans are going gaga over it *cough* Twilight *cough*. I don't read Sophie Kinsella or Meg Cabot books because I don't think it gives you enough knowledge. I prefer the classics like Dostoevsky, Tolstoy and Austen. And I'm not saying this just to brag, I'm saying this because I think people my age should really just go out there and read everyday because it helps. It gives you knowledge and an extensive vocabulary.

I think reading is what has got me interested in writing. I mean, I don't fancy writing short stories and I don't really think I'd want to publish a novel. I'm just saying that I just really love to write. I'm not even sure if I have readers out there, but I'm writing for myself. I'd write about anything and everything that pops into my mind.

There was this one time during high school when a classmate saw me reading a book I borrowed from the library and said, "O Fia, nagbabasa ka pala?" (Fia, I didn't know you liked to read). She got nothing but a cocked eyebrow and a smirk. I mean, I hate being judged so easily. People think I'm the girl who thinks highly of herself, the one who puts so much make up on to impress the boys. Or maybe they think I'm the superficial one who doesn't seem to give a damn about the world. I hate it. I hate it so much. Just because I'm not wearing glasses and braces, doesn't mean I don't have anything up in my head, you know? No pun intended.

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