The start of the year came as a surprise for me. Most of my close friends know what really happened and why it did but I'm not about to share it here so anyway.. Five months have come and gone. I can't believe how time flies by so fast and I'm not even having fun!
The last time my best friend and I talked, it was not a good talk. It made me uncomfortable and kind of disappointed in my position in life. Sometimes, I found it extra hard to sleep cause thoughts of it would just corrupt my mind. What was good about it though was that it actually got me to thinking... What have I done with my life, really? Am I satisfied with myself at this point in my life?
The answer has been and will always be NO. Truth of the matter is, we are never really satisfied with ourselves. Yes, we get what we want, but somehow we end up wanting more. But I guess personally, there's nothing I can do much with my life. But to be honest, I think I'm somehow in a happy place that I modified for myself.
You see, at the start of the year, I wanted to be able to do something productive for myself. I wanted to look for a part-time job but I never really got around to do that. I've spent so many days hanging out in my room and going to basketball games. Until eventually I had to fix stuff for school and then the chance to travel to Australia came about. This is actually the first summer that I haven't gotten darker. No beaches, no bikinis, no sand in my toes. Some days I regret it because I really love the beach and playing water sports. But most days, I'm just happy that I got a rare opportunity to travel on my own at such a young age.
That trip helped me a lot in terms of my outlook in life. I mean, I have been very blessed and fortunate for all the summers I spent traveling to countries in Asia but I never really got to travel alone. In some ways, I've learned to be independent- the most fulfilling feeling I have ever experienced especially when I had to travel using their public transportation to go the city with just a camera and a map. I'm really geographically disoriented and I don't have any sense of direction at all but somehow, I was able to survive that and for a few days, I was really proud of myself. And the thing I love about traveling is that you get to suck in their culture and you learn to incorporate it into your own lifestyle and I guess in ways, that's just what happened to me.
When I got back to Manila, three months have already passed by. I started to get busy running errands for school and home. And when I wasn't busy, I was rekindling my relationship with my first love (which are novels!) or hanging out with my boyfriend and my friends. In what feels like a blink of an eye, I'm almost halfway through 2011. I'm going to start schooling tomorrow and I cannot tell you how much I can't wait to be busy! It might sound weird to some but I miss the feeling of being stressed hahaha. My corporate attires are pressed and all I have to do next is sleep and wake up. Next thing I know, I'll be in the corporate world of tourism.
But you know, there's so much more to life than just graduating and getting a good job to be able to satisfy and sustain yourself for a living. There's also a nagging feeling of fulfilling dreams that you are most passionate about and for me, that would be writing. So my goal for the next two years is to actually get myself to write more intricate "feature articles" and probably get myself a part-time job in a magazine or something. Or maybe finally submit an audition tape to be a sportscaster. There's just so much stuff to do in this world and it would suck if I let it slip by me.